Real Text Conversations: Hubs Edition

Hubs: What’s for dinner?

Me: Will we have both kids?

Hubs: Yes.

Me: I say we pick a kid and eat them.

Hubs: That’s weird.

Me: I’m just running out of ideas. … We could make Haley cook.

Hubs: I don’t want Hamburger Helper.  I’ll just stop by the grocery store.

Me: I guess we could do nachos or spaghetti.

Hubs: I don’t want spaghetti.

Me, because I’m out of ideas: I just found out I can change my texts to hot-air balloon shapes on a background of green sky with clouds.

Me: It has BALLOONS.

Radio silence from the hubs. I win texting.

Confessions of a College English Teacher, Part the Second

For the past 8 years, when I taught a college level Introduction to Literature class?

I taught Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream as a soap opera.

The students loved it, possibly because we also had a potluck dinner and watched the movie version of it (the good one with Stanley Tucci, Christian Bale, Michelle Pfeiffer, etc.).  But they still loved it, and I count that as a win.

Funny Daddy-Daughter Conversations at My House

Ah, tis the season of love and peace…

Meanwhile, at my house…

The hubs and I have a 15-year-old. She is hilarious (to the point where I have a #DailyHaley post on twitter when she’s around). Case in point, two nights ago, after both ate WAY too much at dinner, this conversation went down:

Haley: I think I’m gonna to have a food baby.

Hubs: Me, too.

Haley: OMG, together we may end up with, like, 8 food babies!

In mutual epicurean misery, they hug like they’re going down on the Titanic. Haley begins looking at her brother’s baby photos on Facebook – from over 8 years ago. Haley gets teary-eyed.

Hubs: Is your food baby making you emotional?

Haley: I think I might cry! He was so cute! ...*cue sudden switch in topics because that’s what Haley does*… I need a nap, and by nap I mean go to bed now and never wake up.

Hubs (ambiguously sarcastic): I feel like that’s not all you need.

Haley (totally serious): I need a boyfriend, too…well, I want one, anyway.

Hubs: Some people want world peace and clean water, but that $#%&’s not gonna happen, either.

Haley: Well, it doesn’t matter. I’m gonna die from my food baby. All of my wishes will have been fulfilled except the boyfriend one.

Hubs: Well, this ain’t Make-a-Wish, so you might as well let that one go.

Haley (while laugh-crying): Ow! That kinda hurts me in the feels.

Hubs: Well, I don’t like to lie.

 

Feel the love. It’s palpable.